Family and friends would naturally ask if I was pregnant already after tying the knot. You could tell that they're only excited for us. Looking back, I would probably ask the same to friends who wed because having a child after getting married is the norm. After a few years into our marriage, people would still ask from time to time if we are already expecting a baby but some seemed to have grown tired of asking. I'm thankful that our family do not give the impression that they're pressuring us to have a child already, but also saddened that we cannot give them that joy as of the moment.
It was easy to handle the 'baby' questions from people who simply want to know and those who ask to make small talk. I would usually answer it with a smile saying "It will come." To tell you honestly, those words has also been a comfort to me and my husband whenever I wonder and feel frustrated in our journey. But how do we handle and feel about people's remarks that are careless and tend to be hurtful?
We have heard a couple of such remarks; there was one that stood out and it happened quite recently. We made a quick stop by our godparents' house last time we were back in the Philippines. Naturally, they asked if we're already having a baby. Then one of them spoke to us nonchalantly, "It seems that you're both infertile." I was stirred up for a second after hearing those words. Thank God I wasn't vulnerable and had a happy state of mind at that time thus I was able to give a straight response. I told them gladly that it may not have been the right time yet and God's will be done. They seemed to have agreed but oblivious to how the remark made us feel. Some people are straightforward and speak their thoughts casually and I'd like to think that they're just one of those people.
Some people may not realize that dealing with infertility is a struggle. It is heartbreaking, especially for us who feel ready and willing to raise a child/children of our own. It gets easier with a supportive and understanding partner. After all, it's our journey together - the joy, pain, and heartbreaks are all part of it. I just wish that people will be more conscious about what they ask and say to couples who they expect to be bearing children already (or to everyone in general actually). People may not recognize the pain; just because you don't see them struggle doesn't mean they don't. I believe that we can choose to be more compassionate towards others because we don't always see the agony behind the smiles.
Let this message be a beautiful reminder to all of us. Cheers!☺️
We have heard a couple of such remarks; there was one that stood out and it happened quite recently. We made a quick stop by our godparents' house last time we were back in the Philippines. Naturally, they asked if we're already having a baby. Then one of them spoke to us nonchalantly, "It seems that you're both infertile." I was stirred up for a second after hearing those words. Thank God I wasn't vulnerable and had a happy state of mind at that time thus I was able to give a straight response. I told them gladly that it may not have been the right time yet and God's will be done. They seemed to have agreed but oblivious to how the remark made us feel. Some people are straightforward and speak their thoughts casually and I'd like to think that they're just one of those people.
Some people may not realize that dealing with infertility is a struggle. It is heartbreaking, especially for us who feel ready and willing to raise a child/children of our own. It gets easier with a supportive and understanding partner. After all, it's our journey together - the joy, pain, and heartbreaks are all part of it. I just wish that people will be more conscious about what they ask and say to couples who they expect to be bearing children already (or to everyone in general actually). People may not recognize the pain; just because you don't see them struggle doesn't mean they don't. I believe that we can choose to be more compassionate towards others because we don't always see the agony behind the smiles.
Let this message be a beautiful reminder to all of us. Cheers!☺️
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