I say a little prayer for you

This morning I found out a bad news, about a friend who gave birth to her first son. The premature baby died. I was shocked at first, because we have been talking about them for days now. We were worried about their condition. It was heartbreaking to know that after a few days the baby did not make it.

I asked friends to offer a little prayer for the baby, and for the couple, too. Prayer is the least yet powerful thing to do. It is hard to move on from any loss, and there's DABDA (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) stages/cycle of grief according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.

We went to their house this evening to know how they are and to somehow let them know that they have support groups. I never expected to have a chat with them and I just wanted o ask other friends what really happened. It  seemed that others were clueless too. I usually do not go near or look at the coffin during visits like this. I just don't want to remember people that way - seeing them in that kind of state.

While we were chatting, our friend who just lost her baby approached us and told us to get some refreshment. She was smiling and trying to be welcoming, there's sadness in her eyes, I can tell. She is a bubbly person and has the attitude to look at the bright side. When people started to leave, she took the seat beside me and told her story. As I said earlier, I never expected to get to talk with her so I was not ready with what to say to this young woman who is grieving.

At first, she shared her happiness that she was able to spend seven days with her baby. She had gone through a lot of pain and sacrifice for the pregnancy, practically because of Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APAS), which she only discovered on the seventh month of pregnancy. From what I have heard, this disorder is quite rare and needs constant medication to ensure the baby's health. The baby in her womb had a good fight during those months without medication to protect him. The disorder had affected her health too, thus, she had a premature birth. She recalled the days that she spent with her baby - how her baby always moved and seemed healthy at first, how her baby made her happy even in his littlest gestures, how she tried to comfort him when he was crying, how sad it felt when her baby had to suffer to survive. She also recalled how it looked more painful for her husband who's been away for long, to lose the gift they have been waiting for. I could feel her sadness and how she had so many questions in her mind and why it had to happen, to her and her husband, but I was certain that she has the faith - that God has better plans which she's not so sure yet.

I could not find the right words to comfort her at that time because I know that coping with their loss is yet to come. And I believe that she has better answers to all her questions, in her heart and with their strong faith, they would carry on. This too shall pass.

Today, I have been offering simple prayers for their family when I remember them, and I'm still requesting others to do the same. I feel for their loss and I hope that they will recover from this in God's time. And in God's time, I am hoping that they will find the reasons for all this, the strength to start all over again and just be thankful that their angel is in better hands.