Pause

Lately, I noticed that I have been saying a lot when talking to someone. I don't feel good doing it. No one actually said that I talk too much but personally, I want to stop doing it.

One may wonder why. First of my many reasons is that maybe the person I'm talking to does not want to listen to my ramblings anymore especially when he/she stops responding - no, let me rephrase that - especially when he/she responds with a change of topic, a sigh, a nod, or a blank stare. And then I'd think to myself, "Was there something wrong with how I said it?"

Second is that I don't want to be the one bulldozing in a conversation. I hate it when someone makes me feel like he/she knows all the things that I'm going to say, including my feelings, when there is not even a glint of empathy when that person talks. I don't want to be that kind of person to anyone.

Finally, I feel exhausted when I do a lot of talking and getting nothing in the end, when I put effort in talking things with someone and appear that I'm the antagonist in the situation. 

I want to listen more and talk less, so what I try to do most of the time is pause. I pause and take a moment to listen to myself. I pause and try to figure out if my message would be heard the way I wanted to. I pause when I think that I won't be able to tell something good because I know that in silence, some messages can get through.

That would be all for now. Here's to good days! :)