Love in the time of graying hair and achy knees

"Masarap naman magluto Mommy mo," (Your mom cooks really well) my dad admitted when I  asked how was his eating after his recent operation*. Thankfully, he now eats solid foods in small amounts and appreciates mom's cooking while he's still recovering.

My parents, both in their sixties, express their affection in little doses and in vague ways. I wonder if they had been like that when they were young and when they just got married. Growing up, I rarely saw them sweet with each other since my dad's past jobs only allowed him to be home once every two to three years. I can't remember if they went out on a date, just the two of them; maybe they did once or twice but it's not a common thing. If ever they went out, it was always with us, their children. I actually haven't known a lot of long-married couples being openly affectionate; on the other hand, some married couples in our (not-so-nice) neighborhood could even be heard screaming and arguing with each other like they were always on the brink of splitting up. However, there were a few old couples I have met whose relationships were inspiring and something to look up to.

My parents' marriage isn't perfect (whose is anyway?), but I'm glad that they still stick with each other. They had been apart for a long time until my dad retired from work eight years ago. During the first few months when dad was back home, it was like they were struggling to adapt to being reunited and we, their children, were affected by that conflict. It helped that we were all grown ups at that time. We were their priorities for a long time that their relationship was brushed aside. I guess growing apart and growing old took a toll on their marriage. But I'd like to think that my parents make do with what they have. Love is not just about holding hands, hugging and kissing, and saying I love you out loud especially in the time of graying hair and achy knees, because it is there in every meal prepared, every laundry made, every dinner together, every laughter shared, and every greeting spoken on anniversaries, celebrations and birthdays. I hope that it lingers in quiet little ways.

Dad and mom when they were younger (I have yet to find out the story behind this photo)

*My dad recently underwent operation that removed his left kidney found to have a huge mass. We still don't know the biopsy results, but he's already recovering. I'm thankful that my parents are still there for each other, even though they often seemed to be in disagreement.