Anyone else but you

"You're a part-time lover and a full-time friend."

           Seven years ago, we met and became acquaintances through a youth formation. You were in a band, and I saw you played at the town plaza that year, for the first time. Too bad that I only got to hear the last line of your last song which goes "I could be the man who grows old with you."
           We became friends a year forward. We had these small conversations at Friendster back then. And when you learned that I write poems, I let you read my works. You appreciated them and promised me to make a music for that particular poem that you liked. I'm still waiting for that promise. Hehe! I started listening to bands and songs that you listen to. You even gave me a compilation of happy songs, sort of like a mixed tape only in CD. I lent you some of my favorite records and you loved them. That year, we became lovers.

Of sadness and prose

Last week, I finally had the time to clean my room and to arrange some stuff.

Then I found my journal way back 2008. It was my most treasured, lovely journal. It has amazing stories, both happy and depressing, some I could vividly remember, some I've already forgotten.

I had a good laugh at the stories I wrote there. I remembered how I easily get sad those days, of how music and writing poems were a big part of that time. And suddenly, I missed writing.

Those were the days that I would opt to write on a notebook everything that's running in my head. I would write my ideas down, or anything that struck my mind, or feelings that I wanted to blurt out, which most of the time were written in prose. I felt good to have read those poems again, to remember how I played with words, how they rhyme and how the combination of words gave meanings. And it always feels good how sadness is so easy to appreciate and understand when written in rhyme, how it sounds so beautiful even when it expresses hopelessness. And how each poem means differently to every reader of it. How I missed it.

I will try to write again, definitely.

Sweet and marvelous

Our Antioch Weekend Seminar had ended. It was held last April 26 to April 28, and apparently, this is my second favorite batch. My most favorite is Batch 4 last summer 2012, where I was one of the team leaders.

I love this batch in multiple ways. I love the set of team leaders, Shen, Jade, Aldrin and Gian. They have a great team. They were able to handle the challenges throughout the weekend. They were good at connecting with the participants and other facilitators. Same with the others who were part of the team. They've been supportive, cooperative, and generally easy to deal with. Thank God for guiding them, for giving them all the strengths that they needed to push through, and for making them/us an instrument to let other young people experience His love.

The Team Leaders
L-R Gian, Shen, Aldrin, Jade
(c) Ediber

Say YES to second chance

I said Yes to second chance three weeks ago.

I signed another contract with the school I currently teach at. My reason was just simple. I want to see and experience the changes that may come with the new management. I am positive with the hopeful school year to come. And I believe that God is with me in this decision.

I just hope that everything will go well accordingly.

I enjoyed my 1st batch of summer class with two adorable toddlers, Subie and Andrei. I hope to see them next batch of summer class and the coming school year.

Subie and Andrei with me (as Teacher Jill)

I had a wonderful weekend and I hope to share it here, later or next time. God loves you! God bless you! :)

Pray. Think.

This week has been both great and confusing.

I had met an interesting person recently, who happened to be our new boss. We were all surprised when the staff introduced him as our new school director. He looks funny, approachable and 'makulit.' He has a good rapport with people, even with those who he just met for the first time. I cannot imagine him sitting in the office and talking with us about the school. Hehe!

And then, he told us about his dreams and goals for the school. They were overwhelming. And exciting. I did not fully participate during the meetings with him, especially when I have already submitted a resignation letter, which means that I'll be leaving by the end of April. But still, my thoughts are still on how these big changes will be done.

He found out that I will be leaving the school soon. So, he talked with me personally and planned stuffs on how he could make me stay. I was thrilled at first because all the while, I thought that my decision was final. And there I was, weighing things out and thinking them over. I need time to think. I have to say that he has strong convincing power.

Because of my confusion and unsettled decision, I told him to give me more time to think. I said that by Friday next week, I should already have my final say. 

This weekend and the following week, I hope to come up with a plan, in which I can both grow and help others grow. Because that's what I want; that's what I need. I thank my co-teachers for praying with me about this. I ask you, to pray with me, too.

God bless me and you! :)

Source: http://edunderwood.com/eds-notes/breakthrough-prayers/

The most tiring day of all.

Today is what the Catholics called the Good Friday. This is the day when we remember the death of Jesus at the cross.

This day started with the traditional procession we call Prusisyon ng Yapak. We prayed the Station of the Cross in the designated houses around the town. We walked with bare feet which symbolizes Christ's humility and love for the smallest of people. In our parish, the procession started at 4 in the morning and lasted until 7 AM.

Right after that procession, we stayed at the church while waiting for the other cast members of Senakulo. We had our General Rehearsal in the morning. Senakulo was presented during the gospel reading of the afternoon mass, which showed the final moments of the life of Christ. It was annual tradition in our parish and the youth generally took the major part in this activity. I was happy with how Senakulo turned out. Even though there were few glitches, it was nice to see how hard work paved the way to success. I was part of the Technical group and still, I was deeply touched during the La Pieta scene. Mary was holding Jesus on her lap - lifeless, while someone was singing a beautiful rendition of Ugoy ng Duyan by Leah Salonga. It was both heartbreaking and overwhelming.

How death and loss come swiftly.

Early this afternoon, I heard a sad news. It was about a death of a good friend. He's too young to go, I thought.

Hours later, friends from a social networking site started posting pictures of him and saying farewell messages to him. They recalled how good that person was, as a son, a brother, a friend, a best friend, a boyfriend. I have seen how he meant to all these people. It was heartbreaking to see that all these people were not ready for this kind of loss, of grief. 

I was on the verge of taking an afternoon nap when I heard the news. And from then, I was recalling when and where I first knew him. I met him when they went to our house to personally invite me in their Antioch Weekend Seminar. He talked to my sister about few reminders and then, they went off. During the seminar, I could say that he was one of those persons who made me feel comfortable with that group. I could even remember that he was my partner during the graduation ceremony. He is a nice person.

And when I was finally an Antiocher, I found out that he is one of the few people you could count on. He would do his part, even when he was misunderstood at times. Some people might not like his domineering attitude. Some might be annoyed of his 'kakulitan,' (I included.) But still, he is a good friend. I could remember how I asked for help during one of our recollection and how he would tell me to relax and don't panic. And how I laughed and joked on him, in one of his first sessions with The Perdibles, his drumsticks flew in the air. I still think, it's too early for him to go.

It is sad. His family, loved ones, closest friends, and Antioch SILab, together with all the communities who knew him, are surely grieving.

I asked friends to pray for his soul because he might or might not be ready for this. But God will help him because He is the way. May he find God and his new home. May God bless his kind soul (+)

Source: http://isilmetriel.deviantart.com/art/The-Tree-of-Life-28399282

This is one of those moments when life teaches us that we only got limited time to do the things we need to do. And we need to make the most of this limited time so that when it's our time to go, we know that we lived well. Life may be short but he touched many different lives already.