February 18, 2015

On love and heartbreaks

It's funny how a lot of people can relate to the romantic-comedy film "That Thing Called Tadhana," as if heartbreaks are universal. Isn't it?

The story is about two strangers who met and embarked on an adventure based on impulsive decisions while talking about and relating their lives and lost love. The film was packed with conversations, so natural and simple. The use of swear words of Mace and Anthony (the characters in the film) made the conversations more appealing and honest. I guess people might have identified themselves in the characters because of this. And, it was not usual to watch a film that hit the mainstream cinemas with such use of profanity. A lot have been quoting lines from the film with funny hashtags. It's no wonder though because Ms. Antoinette Jadaone, the film director, won various awards for best screenplay.

The film also reminds me of Richard Linklater's Before Trilogy, it's just more relaxed and funny.
A scene from 'Before Sunrise'
So, are heartbreaks universal? And where do broken hearts go?

When you love and you have invested time, effort, commitment, and whatever on that love, it becomes a part of you, of your system. And when that love begins to move away from you or when something went wrong, the more you long for that love and your mind tries to find it, only to get an Error 404 in return, that's the time emptiness and sadness creep in. Thus, a heartbreak.

I don't know where broken hearts go but I do believe that it may take time, a new hobby, a new environment for them to find their way home. I knew some friends whose hearts are still healing and trying to get over their past relationships. It takes time.
A scene from 'That Thing Called Tadhana'
I used to imagine that having a heartbreak from relationships that did not work quite well would be a good experience. You know, the experience might make me stronger besides the pain. I used to think that maybe, I'd like to have one good heartbreak before finally meeting the one. But it did not happen, because I met the one soon enough. (And that's the reason why I cannot relate much to the characters in the film Tadhana.) We get pretty heartaches from our relationship - heartaches that won't cause us to move away from each other, instead, those cause us to choose each other no matter what, every time. Because that's real love, choosing one another even when there are ifs and buts.

I recommend the film to those who want to laugh and to believe in the power of tadhana, and please watch it in theatres instead of downloading it! Show your support to our local filmmakers. :)

January 19, 2015

And you're still here

"I can be an asshole of the grandest kind..."

There were times that I had hurt you when we have petty or big arguments. Sometimes unknowingly, sometimes not. But then you must have realized that you could not always win against me. You are always the one who understands. You are always the one who gives in so I can finally shut up. I sometimes apologize for those times I've been selfish, and you forgive me because you know me too well by now. How grateful I am for having you.

"I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone who is as negative as I am sometimes."

I can be easily turned off by unpleasant situations. I hate change of plans, if there were any. You easily feel when I don't feel good anymore, when I don't like certain things. It's like you have a mood radar made for me, and you sometimes know what to do exactly. But sometimes, you're clueless. It's alright, because I sometimes don't know what to do with myself either. I love how your words affect me like no other, like those times when you told me over and over that what I have done was nice because you know how much I worry. When I thought my plans have failed, you are the assurance that I need to calm me down. Oh, how grateful I am to be with you.

"You see everything, you see every part"

Almost one month with you as your wife, life has been blissful. We discover a lot about ourselves and I bet there are still more to know, you from me, and I from you. You are written in my thoughts, in my system, in my expressions, in my works. I love how we mature each day, how we like our childish ways, how we understand each other when others won't. I love you for sticking around, for seeing your face when I wake up, for all the love without conditions. Oh, how grateful I am for taking you as my partner.

"You see all my light, and you love my dark.
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed,
There's not anything to which you can't relate"

You are my greatest fan. And, I am yours. You took the time and effort to understand the things that I do. Your patience with me is incomparable. You understand how hard-headed I can get, how I turn away easily. You believe in my strength. You help me make my dreams, as if they are yours, too. You hope for me, and I love that about you. You simply accept me for all that I am, from best to worst that I can get. Oh, how grateful I am to have found you.

"And you're still here."

We have been through a lot, and there are more adventures in store for us as husband and wife. I thank you for all your love, in all its forms. I thank you for staying with me no matter what. I thank you for instilling hope and faith in me. I love you! Let's claim our plans and make exciting dreams! <3

December 4, 2014

Busy and happy!

There were days that I'd really like to update this but because I need more sleep or I need to do something else, writing here gets out of hand.

Anyway, it's already December! Few more days and it's our big day! So many things to do, so little time. I hope everything gets done well.

I feel grateful for everything that I accomplished during the days I wasn't writing. I feel most grateful for Michael - for all he is, for my family who gives the support that they can give especially during our wedding preparation, for friends who show how happy and excited they are. Really, nothing is impossible when you have faith in the One who makes all things possible. Thank you Lord :)

I'm posting a photo from our prenuptial pictorial by Red Label Studio. Hopefully, I can find more time to write pretty things about our wedding here. :)
Pure joy with my life partner

September 20, 2014

A year after

2013 was the year when he proposed, when we got engaged. It was September, just a few days before he left for work.

The days leading to that night were busy since he was preparing his things for his flight. I was clueless that it was going to happen. We spent most of the days together and I thought that he did not have time to prepare for his proposal and get a ring for me. But, it happened.

We went to a fundraising gig after we got engaged, and so, we had this photo:

When I told some close friends that I quickly responded 'yes' to his proposal, they would ask how he did it. I would tell them that he got down on one knee, babbled some 'things' I almost slapped (or, maybe I did, a little) him because I couldn't believe that he was doing it but nevertheless accepted him, undoubtedly. By the way, the ring was too small for my finger at that time and couldn't get it fit in; he later explained why it was like that. Such a simple proposal, whatchathink?

Maybe, some friends expected something grand, something with elements of surprise, more than I did. Especially nowadays when people puts pressure on how marriage proposals should be done. You could google 'marriage proposal' and find a lot of websites that say how to do it. Especially in this generation when a lot of moments were recorded through videos. You could find clips with titles such as Greatest Proposal Ever and Best Wedding Proposal and so on.

Well, compared to those uploaded videos and great suggestions you've seen and read so far, that night when he proposed to me would look simple, really. But that night was special. It did not need any other tricks, gimmick, connivance with friends, video coverage, and audience. What it needed was him and me, our faith, and love, and nothing else. Wait, and a ring to seal it, of course. There was something I saw in him that night, that even when he's not speaking, I would understand him.

If some people would ask again how he proposed, I would like to tell them how that moment was different. Instead, let me just tell it here how I saw him that night.

It was Saturday. We had a prayer meeting with Antiochers in the church. We sat beside each other, and told others that he was going abroad again. Most of them expressed that they would miss him. I couldn't remember what happened in the meeting but I recalled, he would hold my hand from time to time, then I would look at him like I was asking why. We were packing away our things and preparing to leave the church when he asked me to stay inside for a while, when others already went out. I was distracted that we might be left by others. Then. he got down on his knee. He was holding something in his hand, a ring. He was saying some things that I could not understand at first, because he sounded like he was stuttering. He looked vulnerable and happy at the same time. I realized that he was proposing. And then I thought how could someone look unsure but assured, uncertain but so certain. I didn't let him finish whatever he was saying, I punched him a little in his shoulder. I couldn't believe that he asked me to marry him. And, I said yes

We were certain about each other, and no matter how mindless I was that night, I would still choose to say yes. Over and over. It was one of those nights when I saw how much he became open and honest to me, how he's so assured and brave when he's with me, how he didn't care that his whole self was exposed to me because he knew, I'll love him anyway. Because that's the truth, I love him any way.

A year has passed after that night. And we are excited for that day, greater than any days we had together so far.
"Tell him yes. Even if you are dying of fear, even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life if you say no."
~Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera 

August 31, 2014

Under Pressure

I want more days off from work! It's like there'd be no more days after August because of its almost full weekend schedule.

Anyway, we only had two days with classes this week because of National Heroes Day (holiday), and two suspension of classes due to heavy rain warnings. This week had been easy teaching-wise, but I was stressed because of some re-construction and revisions I'm doing in my classroom. I hope that the monitoring team will reschedule their visit in our district. I NEED MORE TIME TO PREPARE MY CLASSROOM!

This week, I was able to get in touch with a former kid in my class. He sent me voice notes and video recording to say hi. It's such a sweet gesture, and it made a teacher like me grateful for what I'm doing.

I'm still praying that I will have more time to prepare my classroom for my kids.

Before I end this entry, I'll be including another song. I recalled this old favorite song (not so old actually) today and felt that I missed listening to this. I found out about this song when there was a music tour in our dormitory during my college days. There was a duo who played this song and I like their version very much. Sadly, I couldn't find them so I'm sharing this one instead, which is as great as the Don Henley original. Listen, please :)
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